


Child in mind

by Alphawave



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Autism Spectrum, Comedy, Dramedy, F/M, only light angst though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 16:54:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18695551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alphawave/pseuds/Alphawave
Summary: Amy's period is late. She suspects she might be pregnant, which Jake is definitely not freaking out about, and is definitely not worried about the hypothetical responsibilities he must have as a father. Meanwhile, Amy deals a sensitive case involving an ASD child.Written BEFORE Casecation, but since it matches a lot of story beats, consider this an alternative what-if for that episode.





	Child in mind

**Author's Note:**

> _As I said in the summary, I began and wrote the majority of this way before Casecation came out. Obviously when the episode did come out, I was kinda happy to see I sorta predicted the future and kinda disappointed that it didn't go how it went in my head. So if you didn't like that episode, or just want to see a different way that episode could have gone, read on! I had a lot of fun writing this hypothetical episode_

“Psst, Jake,” Amy shout-whispered from around the corner. “Come here.”

“O….K?” Jake muttered to himself.

Normally Jake would be wondering why Amy was lamely trying to hide behind the office when everybody could see her but he wasn’t going to deny his wife a quick visit. It did seem urgent, and he knew better than to keep her waiting. He shrugged to no one in particular, abandoned his paperwork on his desk (much like his father abandoned him, he desperately tried not to think about), and followed Amy to the records room. As soon as he entered, she glanced down both corridors before hurriedly closing the door behind her.

His hands instinctively went for her waist. “Oooh, trying to get me alone, babe? Bit risky.”

Amy pushed him away lightly. “Jake, this isn’t a booty call, it’s…” she pursed her lips. “Promise me you won’t get upset or panic.”

“Ames, you have nothing to worry.” He gestured at the room. “This is a safe space. And yes, that includes hugs because, let’s face it, these arms are _chilling_.”

Amy giggled. “OK then.” She took a deep breath and exhaled. “I’m a bit worried because my period’s late.” She smiled nervously. “I think I might be pregnant.”

Jake’s easygoing smile fell. “A-what now?”

“My period’s been late for a week, and this has never happened before.”

“Periods can be late, right? I mean, I’m pretty sure not every woman has it like clockwork.”

“But mine was! Santiago women always have their periods in 29 days 16 hours and 32 minutes after bleeding stops.”

“It can’t be _that_ clockwork.”

“My mother’s period was a day late, and that’s how she knew she was pregnant with me,” Amy said in a low voice. “That’s how she _knew_.”

“OK, that’s an image I don’t want in my noggin,” Jake commented.

“Jake…” she huffed.

“Look, calm down. Periods can be late because of stress, and you’ve been stressing out about accompanying your officers to this case for weeks. You could just have a late period. It doesn’t mean you’re pregnant.”

“Why do you know so much about periods?”

“I might’ve watched the next episode of that documentary about the human body ahead of you,” Jake admitted sheepishly.

Amy opened her mouth to complain about Jake messing up her viewing schedule again but decided against it. That was another, far less important topic to talk about and honestly, she was kinda glad he was getting a bit more into the documentaries (or the ‘docs’, as he preferred to call them). “Look, some of my officers are handling this sensitive kidnapping case, and as their supervising sergeant I need to make sure everything goes smoothly. I don’t know how long I’ll be away but when I get back, I’ll buy a pregnancy test and we’ll find out for sure. But please, while I’m away, promise me one thing. Don’t tell the others yet.”

“O-of course,” Jake said. “Look, we don’t know whether you’re pregnant or not, and you know, it’s just a hypothetical baby in your belly that could grow into a hypothetical kid that will have to hypothetically survive in the dark and dangerous real world that we are definitely unprepared to raise them into, so it’s fine, it’s fine!”

“Jake,” Amy warned.

“I won’t tell anyone. Promise.” He extended his pinky. “I’ll even pinky swear you.”

Amy smiled one of her secret smiles, the ones she only really showed around him. He likened those smiles to the sun peeking out over the horizon on a glorious spring morning. “You’re the best,” she said as she leaned in to press a soft kiss on Jake’s lips. He melted into the kiss, closing his eyes and taking in her wondrous scent, a mix of antibacterial deodorant from the corner store and the floral perfume he bought for her three months after they got married. If Jake wasn’t too afraid to be corny and romantic, he’d say she smelt like home.

At that moment, Charles stumbled out of his hiding spot behind a wall of boxes. He barely caught himself, his hands gripping into the wall for dear life.

“Charles‼” Amy shouted.

“What are you doing here, man?!” Jake also shouted.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to give you two some privacy. This was such a beautiful moment, I almost got tears in my eyes.”

“Why are you holding up your phone?”

“To film this occasion. To show to your kids, when they grow up. That’s my duty as their god daddy.”

“Please don’t call yourself ‘god daddy’, Charles,” Jake groaned, knowing all too well that it was fruitless to correct Charles on his horrendous grammar. The fact that their secret also got revealed in like seven seconds was also kinda bad, and maybe also a new record.

* * *

 

Terry knew when there was something up with his detectives, and he knew that something was up with Jake. For the past couple of hours, he had been staring into space with this blank, unnerving expression. He was distracted with something, and it clearly must have been big because even Charles was looking at Jake with concern. At one point, Terry thought he saw Jake open up a parenting website (the very same website, in fact, that he and his wife scoured through when the twins were growing out of infancy).

He decided to do a little bit of detective work of his own, and who better to ask than the man himself. While Charles and Jake were chatting by Jake’s desk, Terry slowly walked up to the pair.

“Hey man,” Terry said to Jake, “you look a little distracted. Something up?”

“No, nothing—”

“AMYMIGHTBEPREGNANT, doh!” Charles winced.

“Charles!” Jake groaned.

“Amy’s pregnant?” Terry asked incredulously.

“Might be pregnant,” Jake corrected. “She thinks that because her period’s late, she could be pregnant. Which is totally fine by the way, because I’m totes looking forward to being a dad.”

Jake said that, but from the look of sheer terror on his face and the rising inflection of his voice, Terry suspected that he was not looking forward to being a dad at all.

“Did you practice safe sex?” Charles asked.

“What kind of—yes. Of course we did.”

“But were you _careful_?”

“What?” Jake spluttered.

“Were you _careful_ , Jake?! Answer the question!” Boyle slammed his palm on the desk.

“I-I guess,” Jake threw his hands up. He turned to Terry, his eyes wide as he tilted his head frantically in Charles’ direction. Terry understood that look all too well. It was the ‘ _do me a solid_ ’ look. He got it every now and again from his officers, but his brother was the one who had that look perfected to a T. Cagney and Lacey were a very close second, probably because their uncle taught them. Jake’s was maybe around tenth place.

“Charles does have a point,” Terry said. “If you’re not careful with the birth control, it can cause _accidents_.”

Jake deflated. “Speaking from experience?” Jake asked.

“No way. Terry is a thoughtful and respectful lover that will never impregnate a woman against her wishes.”

“Are we talking about sex?” Hitchcock asked as he rolled his chair to the group of men without their prior permission. “You know, my ex-wife and I had some pretty kinky stuff going on back in the day. One time, she took a jar of peanut butter and—”

“Hitchcock, no,” Jake moaned.

“Go back to your desk, man. We don’t wanna hear about your sex life,” Terry said.

“Yeah,” Charles agreed.

“Fine,” Hitchcock pouted, rolling himself sadly away as he went back to Scully’s desk, no doubt about to talk about their brief exchange to his long time friend.

Terry turned to Jake, still trying his hardest (and failing) to hide his growing anxiousness. “Did you and Amy ever have the talk about kids?”

“No. Pssh. I mean, why would we? We already know each other so well. Yesterday, I predicted she would watch another David Attenborough documentary and I was right. And she said she knew I was going to eat that entire bag of gummies from the store within 24 hours, which ya boy did.” He leaned casually back in his chair. “We knows each other.”

Terry raised his eyebrows knowingly. Jake was deflecting again. He needed to push further. “Did Amy tell you what she would do if she was pregnant?”

“Well, obviously no. But I know what she’ll say. She’ll go “oh, I’d love to have a kid, but we’ve just got too much on our plate right now” and I’ll go “yeah I know, right” and she’ll agree with me and then we’ll go to an abortion clinic or…something.”

“Just like that?”

“Yep.”

“And what if she _didn’t_ abort? What if she decided to keep the child?”

Jake’s too-casual persona fractured slightly as his posture slumped. He cast his gaze to the ground, silent. At once, Terry knew he caught Jake. _Bingpot_ , he might say in an all-too-loud voice if he wasn’t conscientious of annoying his other, working officers.

“You’re scared about being a dad,” Terry uttered.

Jake did not respond, only raising his head microscopically. That was as much of a yes as Terry would get.

“Look, I understand. Being a first parent is tough. When my wife told me she was pregnant with the twins, I was so scared.”

“I thought you said you were excited about being a dad,” Charles pointed out.

“No, I didn’t. Shut up, Charles.”

“Yeah, you did, silly. I remember you showing everybody the first mammogram. Ahh, it reminds me when I did my first mammogram with Genevieve. The doctors told me that she was incredibly fertile. Like a pot of perfectly manured soil. Just a tiny bit of sperm and her uterus would bloom like a—”

“Well, as fun as that was to hear,” Jake said as he abruptly stood up, “I’m gonna just skedaddle out of here and pretend I didn’t hear a word from you two. Peace!”

When Jake had entered the elevator and hit down, Terry glared at Charles.

“What?”

Terry just shook his head and returned to his desk, leaving Charles to wonder what he said wrong again. Hopefully he’ll figure it out this time.

* * *

 

It’s not often that a sergeant accompanied their officers to a case, but this kidnapping was considered sensitive, and any mistake could be disastrous for publicity. Plus, one of her officers was showing interest in being a detective and had specifically asked her to accompany them to make sure they’re doing a good job. If she wasn’t already obligated to join the investigation, she would have joined just from that indirect compliment alone.

The police car rolled up to an art deco mansion and she couldn’t help the sigh of amazement that escaped her lips. Amy studied the matte black railings that supported the balcony, the green mahogany door with tinted glass that perfectly complimented the cream filigree curtains that decorated each and every window frame. A place such as this could only exist in her dreams, for there was no way she could half as nice a place with her and Jake’s modest salary even if they cut everything down to the bare essentials. Amy had tried regulating their expenditure before by making a strict day-to-day guide, back when Jake had first moved in and they were still new to the whole living together scenario. As she soon learned, no matter how much more mature Jake had become in the past couple of years, there was nothing she could do to limit his impulsive whims (in that specific case, it was a limited edition signed Die Hard poster, which was frankly the least strange purchase he made, for this purchase was made just after buying a kilo of gummy bears and before purchasing a defective Garfield phone case from France). If anything, she had learned to enjoy his impulsive tendencies, albeit in moderation.

She walked up to the door, checking her ponytail to see that a stupid strand hadn’t ruined her perfectly perfect ponytail™ and gestured for her officer to knock on the door. One of the forensics guys in their haz mat suits opened the door. Amy’s already worried why a haz mat guy would be needed here, but she kept her face blank in the vain hope it won’t spook her fellow officers.

She flashed her badge and offered a smile. “Hi, we’re investigating the disappearance?”

The haz mat guy didn’t say anything, just gestured for them to follow them. Amy commended herself on her self control. The architecture and furniture of this place was exquisite and in any other circumstance, she would be squealing. Oh, how she wished she was rich enough to afford a place like this. She could already imagine living with Jake in a place like this, the two of them curling up with a book together in a little library built into one of the rooms. They’ll have their own bookshelves, but every now and then they read a book from each other’s side.

Oh god, she was fantasizing again. This was not the time.

“Can I help you?” A man asked.

Amy blinked as she took in the victims, a Mr. And Mrs. Chu. The most apparent thing about the pair was that they were an interracial couple of some considerable wealth. Mr. Chu was clearly of Chinese ancestry and descent if his accent was anything to go by, but his wife, Mrs. Chu, was a fair-skinned Caucasian with vibrant, natural red hair and blue eyes.

Before she could respond, Larry, one of the officers she was supervising, intervened. All of her officers brought out a notepad, pen ready in hand. “We’re here to investigate the kidnapping of your son,” Larry said.

Amy silently breathed a sigh of relief. She almost forgot her place. She was to take a side role and let her officers do the heavy work. Right. She could do that. She’s still gonna take notes though.

“It happened late yesterday afternoon. Percy was supposed to have a violin lesson, but when he did not come down, we were concerned.” Mr. Chu squirmed uncomfortably, but his wife put a comforting hand on his shoulder. She smiled, but it was strained.

“We went up to the bedroom and he was gone. We found a note on his bed, saying he was taken away.”

“May we see the note?” Amanda, another officer, asked.

Mrs. Chu gestured at a man, who was holding a familiar plastic bag. Some writing on notepaper could be seen. Amy will remind her officers to check up on that note later, but for now she was content in seeing they were handling themselves well.

“It must be that damned maid,” Mr. Chu growled. “She was always a little too chummy with my son.”

“Their name?”

“Madison Tran. I fired her one week ago when I caught her snooping through our wardrobe.” Mr. Chu shook his head angrily. “This is what I get for choosing a Vietnamese maid.”

“Honey,” Mrs. Chu said softly as she pulled her husband into a hug. Mr. Chu hugged back, the two of them trying their best not to cry.

The officers were stiff, but with a silent gesture, Amy gestured them to the kitchen where the rest of the forensics team was hard at work.

“OK, guys. Good work so far, but first, I need you all to dig up some evidence. Reconvene here when you think you’re done and we’ll review everything you’ve gathered.”

The officers all nod and go off their separate ways. Giving herself a metaphorical pat on the back, Amy walked back to the sitting room where the Chus sat. Mr. Chu had since left but Mrs. Chu was still sitting there, looking noticeably concerned. Amy let out a small smile and gestured at the chair next to her. “May I sit?”

“Oh,” she said, suddenly aware that there were others. “Y-yes. Go ahead.”

While Amy sat down, Mrs. Chu patted at her dress. It’s decadent yet homely at the same time. The perfect outfit for a rich wife living on the outskirts of town.

“I didn’t catch your name,” Amy said.

“Oh. Sorry. It’s Daisy.”

“Daisy,” Amy said, “could you tell me about Percy?”

“What to say about him? He’s such a sensitive child. He has such a touch for the arts that I would consider him a prodigy.” She turned to Amy with a plastic smile. “My child was diagnosed with autism—well, ASD, if you want to be specific. But despite that, he has such an intellect to him. He’s a quiet boy and a soft soul, and I can’t understand why anyone would want to kidnap him.”

“Could you describe him for me? What he looks like, what he’s wearing?”

“He was wearing a t-shirt and blue shorts. He had one of those weird shirts with the poster of a movie on them. Two people were standing back to back?”

“Lethal Weapon?” Amy asked. On one of Jake’s more ‘excited’ moments he had made a powerpoint presentation about the different Lethal Weapon posters in different countries.

“Mr. And Mrs Smith,” she replied.

Amy raised her brows. “They have that as a shirt?” She whispered to herself. She shook her head. “You mentioned your child has autism spectrum disorder. Is there a specific way you want me to approach him?”

“Oh, I’m glad you asked that,” Daisy said. And from seemingly nowhere she brought out a huge basket of items. “OK, so when meeting Percy for the first time, he has a very specific routine you need to follow. First, you have to crouch down to his height and smile widely at him. Like this.” Daisy gave an unnervingly wide grin. “After that, you need to give him a hug while singing ‘La Cucaracha’.”

To demonstrate (against Amy’s wishes), Daisy went up to Amy and hugged her from the stomach, singing ‘La Cucaracha’.

_La Cucaracha, La Cucaracha_

_Ya no puede caminar_

_Porque no tiene, porque le falta_

_Marihuana que fumar._

Amy stiffened in Daisy’s grasp. “Wow, I…forgot how inappropriate that song was, talking about marijuana and stuff.”

“I know,” Daisy said. “But he loves it. I just hope he doesn’t become a drug addict in the future.”

Amy nodded weakly. In her head she made a reminder to _not_ sing ‘La Cucaracha’ to her kids. If it wasn’t the inappropriate lyrics themselves, Daisy’s singing made the song impossible to enjoy anymore.

* * *

 

“So, Charles told me Amy might be pregnant,” Rosa said while she caught Jake in the break room. In her right hand was a keep mug with what she claimed was black coffee but which Jake actually knew was hot cocoa. In her left hand was a large bowie knife.

Jake groaned. “I knew Charles wasn’t going to keep it a secret.”

“He’s worried about you, man, and frankly so am I.” In one fluid motion, she stabbed the knife into the kitchen top and drank from her mug. Jake leaned slightly to his side to confirm whether Rosa hit the exact same spot again. She did. The paint had been worn in long ago, and the hole was 0.1mm deeper. As always whenever he was in Rosa’s presence, he was both terrified and impressed.

 “Guessing things are going well with you and Jocelyn,” Jake commented. If Rosa would ask how he knew, he’d reply that it was the brighter blush she was using that’s the exact same shade as the one Jocelyn was wearing the last time he saw her, but unfortunately Rosa was not a fan of witnessing his genius moments.

“’Course they are. But that’s irrelevant, and I don’t want to talk about relationships ever.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because you’re my friend. And also you look like you need some advice. Here.” From a secret pocket somewhere in her jacket, Rosa produced another, even bigger knife.

Jake carefully grabbed the knife, his eyebrows creasing at the thought of himself wielding such a mighty weapon. His marksmanship was good but somehow all the guns in the world paled before this big ass knife, or ‘Knife guy’, as he had internally named the knife.

“How’s this for me?” He asked.

“It’s not. It’s for the baby.”

“I’m not having a baby.” _I think,_ he mentally added. He glanced nervously at the knife. “And what does a baby need a knife for?”

“To protect themselves from wolves,” Rosa shrugged.

“Wolves, Rosa?”

“Wolves are a bigger threat than you realize. When they work together in a pact, they don’t stop until they get their prey.” Rosa got very close. “And when they come after you, you better hope you’re ready to fight.”

Jake took a step backward. He was about to ask who would come after his children, but then he remembered the nutri-goons spying on him, the Vulture, the current commissioner of the NYPD and the countless bad guys he had locked away and decided it was better to not ask. Instead, he said, “Thanks but…no thanks on the knife.” He (very gently) handed the knife back to Rosa, who pocketed it.

“I thought you’d love being a dad.”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love kids and I wouldn’t mind having them someday but babysitting Terry’s twins and having my own children is kinda not the same thing.”

“Kids are terrifying and cruel. They will say your hair looks stupid with no remorse because they don’t have filters.”

“My hair looks stupid?” Jake patted the top of his combed hair.

“I’m just saying, I understand if you don’t wanna be a parent. I’d be way too harsh on my kids and they won’t like me because I don’t have ‘feelings’ and I leave them alone instead of paying attention to them and stuff. Not worth it.”

“I’d totally pamper my kids and just give them all sorts of games to play and we’d hang out a lot and I’d totally won’t run out on them like my dad did on me and my mom, and is it possible our negative experiences as children by our parents influence how we will parent our own children?”

“Definitely, and also, we never talked about kids EVER.”

“Wait, what?”

But before Rosa could give any sort of answer, Jocelyn arrived (wearing the same blush as Rosa, his genius mind supplied) and gave Rosa a big hug. She let go after a few seconds and politely waved at Jake, her smile cordial but sincere.

“Nice to see you again, Jake,” Jocelyn said.

He waved back.

“And this is the moment where I leave and you don’t follow me,” Rosa said sternly. She led Jocelyn to the elevator where they began talking about something. If he strained his ears, he thought he heard them talking about apartments. Were they moving in together or checking out some new apartments? It would be good gossip, but he had learned the hard way never to gossip about Rosa behind her back—not that he ever learned from his mistakes, ever. He was definitely going to gossip it to Amy later.

“Oh Jake. Oh Jake Jake Jake Jake Jake. Jake!” Gina clapped behind him, startling him. She tutted. “You should’ve asked me, man.”

Jake leapt back, then narrowed her eyes on Gina’s mysterious self. She was wearing yoga pants and a yellow sweater that said _Do ya Thang_ in a nauseating shade of purple. “Why…are you here?”

“The wind goes where the wind goes, baby.”

“OK, but you’re still a civilian, and not a part of the NYPD, and should definitely NOT be in the break room.”

“Oh Jake, still following the law like a chump.” She tutted. “And so Amy had a love child with another man.”

“WHAT?! That’s not what happened!”

“It’s not? Oh. I was wondering when did Amy get game?”

Jake felt a bit ashamed. Amy was sexy, right? Everybody had fantasies of their librarian, right? Amy was practically a librarian in all but career. “Look, if you really wanna know, Amy missed her period and she’s…worried that she’s pregnant.”

Gina gasped obnoxiously loud. “Oh my god…you had _sex_ with her?” She cringed.

He spluttered. “Yes! Yes, I did!”

“Alright, man, chill, I mean, I’m just surprised, ya know?”

“I can tell. Now could you please give me some advice?”

“Not if you’re gonna ask me like that,” she said.

Jake rolled his eyes. “Fine. Will you _please_ impart your wondrous wisdom upon me?”

“That’s better,” she smiled, “and the advice I got for you is be prepared to get dumped, man.”

“Gina, come on.”

“Once you go single mom, you never get out.”

“That sounds…very sad, actually,” Jake commented.

“I know,” Gina murmured. “So sad.”

The rest of Jake’s break was spent comforting Gina as she endlessly talked about the trials and tribulations of raising Iggy. He didn’t get much out of her in terms of advice, but he did see a few new cute photos of Iggy, which at least confirmed to him that he still liked kids to a capacity. Nevertheless, the tension within his chest grew.

* * *

 

Amy stood outside a small apartment with her officers. According to the intel they received, this was where Madison Tran, the potential kidnapper, lived. It’s reasonably close to the Chu estate but in a very bad neighbourhood. In a nearby alleyway, she was pretty sure she saw a hobo clean themselves with a cat.

“This city really needs to help its homeless more,” she mumbled to herself.

She steeled herself, checked her bulletproof clothes and her gun's clip, and walked up to the second floor apartment. She stood by the side while the officers knocked on the door. For a few seconds, there was no sound, but then the heavy thud of feet upon wood could be heard. The door was quickly broken down and by the windowsill, clutching onto Percy tightly, was Madison Tran. Her makeup was running, her eyes covered in dripping inky black.

She did not move from the windowsill, her eyes wide and afraid. It was only when a pair of handcuffs were slapped onto her wrists did she react.

“No, no please, don’t arrest me. Percy needs me.”

“Ma’am, just come with us nice and calm,” an officer said.

“You don’t understand! The Chu’s abuse him. If he makes a mistake, they don’t feed him. If he misbehaves, they lock him in his room. I’m trying to protect Percy from them. Please, don’t take him back to them.”

Percy clutched tightly onto Madison’s shirt, his eyes shifting warily between the adults. His gaze fell on Amy and she could feel her heart break a little. She lowered her gun.

“C-check their wardrobe. I saw it there. There’s a computer there that holds all the security footage inside the house. There’s evidence of his abuse.” She clutched onto Percy tightly. “Please don’t take him back.”

“Madison Tran, you have still kidnapped a child. If you come with us, we promise nothing will happen to Percy.”

“Maddy?” Percy gurgled.

Madison nodded imperceptibly, slowly walking away from the windowsill and towards the officers. Percy still clutched onto her shirt, but another officer gently tried to push him away.

“Maddy?” Percy repeated.

“I’m so sorry, Percy.”

The officer smiled sympathetically as he opened his arms wide. “It’s alright, son. Just come with us.”

Percy’s eyes went wide. “NO! NOT WITH YOU!”

“Wait, no!” Amy cried.

Before anyone could react, Percy climbed out of the windowsill and quickly descended the staircase outside the building. A few officers directly tried to chase him, while Amy and another small squad escorted Madison to one of the cars. Barely a minute after Madison sat down in the seat, dejected and defeated, the sound of the radio buzzed on.

“ _Harrison to Santiago. We lost the boy._ ”

Amy very nearly dropped the radio. Were it not attached to her person, she might have to pay fines for the repairs.

* * *

 

Despite her most colourful language, the cellular signal in the area did not get better. This was the fourth time she had attempted to call Jake, only for the call to fail. Eventually, Amy resorted to a text, an impractical medium of communication that she got turned off by partly because of Holt’s personal dislike of short, grammatically incorrect sentences, and partly because Jake didn’t usually read them immediately, on account of being on the job all the time.

_Might be late today. Don’t wait for me._

She clicked send, not before feeling a wave of confusion and worry. She knew Jake was overthinking this whole maybe-pregnant thing, and if she wasn’t so busy trying to find a missing boy, she might be panicking about it too. If Jake was here, he’d probably make some silly goofball comment about a movie he watched, and then some insightful advice on where Percy may be, followed by a quiet admittance of his own fears and worries about Percy’s safety and his potential as a father.

If she was pregnant, she would keep the child, there was no question about it. And for the longest time, she had been so sure about what he’d say because he hinted at it so much, and yet with the very real possibility of having a child looming in the air, she wasn’t so sure anymore. She should have talked about this—she planned to talk about it back when they were signing the prenups, but then Jake came in with a perfectly colour-coordinated binder and he read up the state _and_ city laws on prenuptial agreements and it was just so _sexy_ hearing him talking about the division of assets that she just lost all self control and—god, how did she _not_ get pregnant until now?

“ _Magnussen to Santiago. Do you copy?”_

Amy brought the radio to her mouth, silently glad that no one was around to see her so obviously fantasise about her husband. “What is it, Mac?”

“ _We were able to get a search warrant for the Chu residence. Madison Tran was right about the computer in the wardrobe. We’ve only had a preliminary look but the Chus could be looking at jail time._ ”

“That bad?”

“ _Very bad. Have you seen Percy Chu?”_

“Not yet, but I’m looking. I’m in the woods near the Chu residence. I figured a small boy like him would run home so I’m following the path from Madison Tran’s residence to the Chu residence.”

“ _Affirmative. We’ll let you know if we see him. Over and out_.”

The radio crackled off, and Amy was left with nothing but the sound of her shoes crunching on the branches underneath and the whipping wind.

She’d been walking for an hour now and these once-beautiful woods were already beginning to look sinister. As the thicket became thicker, she resorted to using her flashlight to see. She had been following the path of broken branches on the ground, but it was getting harder and harder to see the path. Surely a kid would have ran out of energy now. Then again, when she babysat Cagney and Lacey with Jake, they also had a lot of energy. Was that what it’s like to be parents with little children? Is that why Sarge is always tired?

Amy shook her head and continued through. She had to find Percy.

She walked so far she could almost see the Chu’s house far in the distance. There was a small clearing with a playground and a sand pit which she investigated. Sure enough, sitting on the swing was Percy Chu, rocking back and forth in a pendulum swing, never getting higher, never getting lower.

“Percy?” Amy said softly.

He did not respond.

“Percy?” She repeated.

“Oh my god, you found my son.”

From the house, Daisy ran over and enveloped her son in a hug. Percy stopped swinging but otherwise did not react. Shortly behind her, Madison was also trying to run but was prevented from doing so by the police officers escorting her.

“Percy!” Madison cried.

Percy’s head suddenly lifted, turning to Madison’s direction. A smile began to form on his face, but Daisy forcefully pulled his face to her.

“Don’t look at her, she’s a monster. She kidnapped you.”

“You let your husband abuse him!”

“How else do you expect an autistic child like this to behave in proper society? I’ll admit, my husband’s methods are extreme. Perhaps I was blind by how extreme, but I can do better.” She caressed Percy’s unresponsive face lovingly. “I can raise you to be better.”

“Percy…” Madison frowned.

He slowly stood up and gently swatted his mother’s hand away. With slow steps he cautiously approached Madison. He took a step out of the sand pit before Daisy wretched him away.

“Don’t you dare go to her.”

Percy ignored his mother, taking another step forward before being pulled away again.

Amy stepped in. “Daisy, that’s enough.”

Daisy ignored her. “Make your choice, Percy. Her, or your mother, me.” She crouched down and smiled widely, her arms extended as if to hug him. She hummed a soft tune of _La Cucaracha_ and for a second Percy was confused yet entranced, staring at his mother blankly as he slowly approached her. Still handcuffed to the officers, Madison could only frown as she watched, holding back tears.

“Come to mommy, Percy. Come to mommy.”

There was clarity in his eyes as he came to a decision. He suddenly came to a stop and looked defiantly in his mother’s eyes for one more time, before sprinting over to Madison and hugging her leg’s tightly. With the officer’s supervision, she crouched down slightly and ruffled the back of his head, the tears finally flowing. He laughed and cried in relief, and in that moment he seemed no different from any other boy his age.  

Amy went behind Daisy and cuffed her wrists. “No,” Daisy whispered to herself, repeating it ad nauseum as she was escorted to a separate police car and driven off. She cried and wailed the entire car ride, bemoaning the lost of her child.

* * *

 

Jake didn’t know why Captain Holt had summoned him, but he figured it must have been something serious. He entered the room, only to be silently ushered to a chair by Holt himself. He was never a fan of sitting down in Holt’s office—or any authority figure’s office for that matter. Before, it was because he wanted to feel just that little bit superior over his new captain. Now, it was because he was too afraid to get down to Holt’s level and know once and for all whether the relationship they shared was familial or not.

“I heard an interesting rumour,” Holt said.

“Oh, here we go,” Jake muttered under his breath.

“I’ve heard your performance has been lacking today because you have been distracted with Amy’s potential pregnancy.”

Jake sighed. “Look, I know, I’ll get my act together, it’s just a lot to wrap my head around.”

“So unwrap it then. What has been bothering you?”

Holt gestured for Jake to sit. Against his better judgment, he sat opposite Holt, subject to his scrutiny. Jake had gotten better at reading Holt’s expressions, but at the moment, Holt was a total mystery. He fiddled with his wedding ring, letting it twist and turn on his finger.

“Jake?”

“Look, I…I’d like to have kids. One day. But not now, not when Amy’s just become sergeant. Not when the city needs me. Not when the commissioner’s after you.”

Holt frowned. “Is that what you think?”

“I just…” he slumped in his chair. “You know how bad my childhood’s been like. My dad kept going away all the time, and I don’t want that for my kids. I want to be there for them, when I have the time, but I don’t have it at the moment. I don’t want to be a deadbeat dad that doesn’t have the time for his kids. If Amy is pregnant and decides to keep the baby, I’ll…”

Holt leaned forward. “What will you do?”

Jake sighed, defeated. “I don’t know anymore.”

Holt nodded slowly. “I understand perfectly how you feel.”

“How?”

“A year after Kevin and I got married, I decided that I wanted to have children of my own. Adopted, preferably.”

Jake’s brows furrowed. He’d thought he heard all of the Captain’s stories, but he never heard this one. “You wanted children, Captain?”

“I did. Kevin and I had done background searches of all the orphanages in the local area to determine which ones were of repute and were willingly to let a gay couple adopt a child, or children. We went through each orphanage, each time leaving without having made a decision.” Holt’s eyes clouded in thought. “At this time I didn’t realize that Kevin’s research had entered a rather busy phase. He was not interested in caring for children, but I persisted in my pursuit, because I did not know and he did not tell me his wishes. We did not have the _talk,_ as you would call it. But eventually all that pent-up frustration built up to a head and one day…we had our first argument.”

“Wow…” Jake said, because really, what could he say? “So what happened?”

“After our argument, we had a talk, and we agreed to postpone the adoption until later, when Kevin’s work died down. But months passed by and we never talked about children again, and by the time the conversation came up again, Kevin said he wasn’t interested in bringing up children. The fact he was busy was just an excuse. I accepted it, and we agreed to no longer try for adoption.”

Jake frowned. “You didn’t regret not adopting a kid?”

“I do. Not a day goes by when I don’t think back to that moment and think, _What if I said something else_? _”_ Holt’s expression softened. “The answer comes to me immediately. I regret not having children, but I would regret putting Kevin in an unhappy situation far more.”

Jake leaned back into his seat. He thought he understood what Holt was trying to say. “So…you’re saying that I should tell her that I’m, what, scared to be dad? That I want kids too but I’m too afraid of following my crappy dad’s footsteps?”

“Well, it depends,” Holt replied. “Say she was pregnant, would you be upset if she decided to keep the child?”

“Absolutely not. It’s her decision.”

“What if she had an abortion?”

“I’d totally support her.”

“Then tell her that. Tell her everything that’s on your mind.” Holt smiled sincerely. “You are both smart people. I believe you will come to an agreement.”

Jake stared at the Captain, the way he often stared when the solution staring him in the face revealed itself. It was so stupid and so obvious. It was just one little talk with Amy. Did they never talk about it because they forgot, or did they just assume they knew how the other one will feel, just like the Captain and Kevin? Or maybe it was because Jake was afraid of what she’d say.

Jake shook his head, the barest of smiles playing on his lips. “You know, for someone who’s not a dad, you sure got a lot of good dad advice.”

“Running a precinct means taking care of a lot of officers, young and old,” Holt replied. He gazed out of the door to the bullpen, smiling fondly. “In a way, the officers under my charge are my children.”

The two glanced up to each other before turning away, words of care and affection left unspoken between the father and son figures. For a moment, Jake thought he should tell the Captain how much he saw him as his actual dad, that he wished to be as good of a father to his own kids as Holt was with his officers. That Holt wasn’t just a father figure to admire, he was a real father to him, even if that bond isn’t legally binding.

For a brief moment of time, he had the courage to ask Holt to be a candidate for godfather for his hypothetical kids. But the door opened, and an officer said something, and he stood up, barely aware of what had been said. They repeated it, and the message finally registered. Amy was asking for him, said she needed his help.

“You should go,” Holt said softly.

Jake nodded. “Thanks, Captain. Gave me a lot to think about.” He left Holt’s office and closed the door, allowing the uniformed officer to escort him.

He was led to the recently outfitted playroom, where a young boy was sitting, playing with the toy trains. By his side, Amy was sitting down, observing him. She looked so in her element, so calm and collected and peaceful. A brief image of her sitting on a comfy chair reading a storybook to two little girls filtered in his mind. The thought felt so natural, almost as if it was a premonition of things to come, of good and simple times in a happy home, the complete opposite of his own childhood.

He approached, and Amy turned around. Her lips curled up into a smile. Upon seeing her face, all the tension in Jake’s shoulders melted away as he smiled back. Only Amy could let the stress of the day go away with just her presence.

“Called me here?” He asked.

“Y-yes.” She gestured at the kid. “This is Percy. I need to do some paperwork and help Frank with some stuff, so I’m gonna be a bit late tonight. Could you look after him for me? Child services are gonna take a while to get here.” She began to rifle through a basket of stuff, but he stopped her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s all right, Ames. I got this.” He crouched down so he was sitting down with Percy, his smile brightening. “Hey there, little guy. My name’s Jake. I’m going to be looking after you for a bit.”

Percy immediately ran up to hug Jake. He was so stunned by this gesture that his hands were frozen by his side. Eventually, he reached out to wrap his arms around the boy’s little body, pulling him in. Jake didn’t realize he needed a hug until he received one, and by a complete stranger too. Tears threaten to sting his eyes but he blinked them away, patting the child to let go. Percy didn’t.

Amy giggled. “He’s a hugger, Jake. You’re stuck with him for life.”

“I don’t think I’d mind all that much,” Jake said truthfully. A hug from a child felt like such a magical thing, like rainbows and sparkles were melted into a blanket, but the blanket was made of sunlight. Amy smiled, standing up slowly, but not before pressing a chaste kiss to Jake’s cheek.

“I’ll see you back home.”

Jake nodded. “See you then.”

As Amy walked away, she paused at the doorway and turned back. It had taken so much effort just for Percy to listen to her but Jake had bonded with him effortlessly, playing with him so easily. She smiled to herself, reassuring herself that she would have nothing to worry about if Jake ever became a dad. He’d be so good at it, she thought. If only he could see it.

* * *

 

When Amy finally returned home, the first thing Jake did was kiss her on the cheek. She smiled, raising a tiny plastic bag in her right hand with what he assumed was the pregnancy test. They talked about their day, exchanging stories. Amy talked about the kidnapping case while Jake talked about all the bad parenthood advice he got (out of respect of his privacy, he didn’t mention Holt’s story). They shared a small laugh at the idea that their little secret got revealed so quickly, dying down as the tension grew heavier in the room. They had dinner, trying their best not to talk about the elephant in the room, their smiles filled with relief with just a hint of nervousness. Finally, when the food was eaten and the dishes were cleaned, Amy grabbed the pregnancy test out of the bag and kissed Jake.

“Wish me luck,” she said.

“Good luck,” he smiled, trying his best to look sympathetic even though he was frightened.

The following ten minutes, Jake thought, were the worst ten minutes of his life.

When Amy exited the bathroom, her face was unusually stoic. She silently handed the pregnancy test to him, and he braced himself, closing his eyes for a second before glancing at the result.

There was only one line. Amy was not pregnant.

“You sure you can trust this?” Jake asked.

“When I was about to try just now, I, uh, got my period. My pants are soiled now but I think that means I’m not pregnant.”

“Cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt.”

For the next ten seconds, they said nothing, just stared at the negative pregnancy test. If Jake were to look up and see his own reflection, he might see the slight disappointment apparent on his face.

“So…no kids,” he said.

“Yeah. I mean, it’s kinda good, right? I’d love to have a kid but we’ve just got too much on our plate right now.” She twirled a strand of hair around her fingers. “I mean, crime doesn’t sleep, and our jobs often take us out of the house. It’s probably for the best.”

“Yeah, I know, right?”

“Yeah…”

By this point, they should be heading to bed. It’s late, and they’ve both had long-ish days, and they needed to wake up bright and early tomorrow. Amy said what Jake thought she would say. That should be all, but for some reason he couldn’t let it go. He couldn’t let this conversation end this way. He didn’t know if Amy ever wants kids, if they’ll adopt or not like Charles and Genevieve, what surname they’ll give their kids, whether they would want a boy or a girl. So many questions filled Jake’s mind, so many that he realized something he should have known a long time ago. He knew Amy better than anyone else, but his Amy knowledge wasn’t complete. There was still so much to learn about her, about the two of them together.

As his free hand drifted to her back and rubbed idle circles, as she stared up at him with eyes full of wonder, he realized he couldn’t avoid _the talk_.

“Hey, Ames, I just realized we…never really talked about if we want kids or not.”

“We haven't.” Her hands creep up his chest. “What do you think about it?”

“We are busy. Like super busy. And we both have our jobs and you just became sergeant, so I’m not super keen on kids right now.”

“O-oh…” Amy said disappointedly.

“That being said, maybe later when we want to we can…I don’t know, raise some bomb-ass kids or adopt some bomb-ass kids.” Jake rubbed the back of his head nervously. “I honestly don’t care which way but if you’re not into being a parent and all, that’s cool. This is a team thing after all.”

“Jake,” Amy reassured, “I wanna raise and/or adopt some bomb-ass kids with you too someday.”

Jake grinned. “Really?”

“Really really. Someday. Not now.”

“Oh, no, of course not.”

“Just putting it out there,” Amy clarified, which was simultaneously necessary and unnecessary in Jake’s opinion because she meant what she said earlier but it also meant she couldn’t take backsies. A relieved smile crept up his cheeks.

“OK, now that’s out of the way, let’s talk hypotheticals here,” Jake said. “Would you prefer boys or girls, and how many?”

“Oh, definitely 2 girls max,” Amy replied. “Kinda like the sarge, but not twins. You?”

“I don’t know about gender, but I wanna have, like, 7.”

“SEVEN KIDS?!”

“Why not? It’d be so cool! I can sick them on people like hound dogs. Oooh, and I also got a cool name for a son. What do you think about John?”

“As in, John McClane?” Amy asked knowingly.

“Well, obviously McClane will be his middle name.”

After a small discussion which spun several hours and a few days, they finally agreed that they can have two-five kids max, and that none of their sons will be named after a character from Die Hard. Amy, however, said nothing about naming their children after Lethal Weapon characters, a mistake Amy will very quickly learn from.

 


End file.
